Happy Birthday, GW500!
by Cozzybob
Summary: It's the new year and Duo's bored as hell... so he looks up fanfiction about himself and his fellow ex-pilots. (third party mention of crossdressing Heero, 1x2x1, among others... gen overall)


**Happy Birthday GW500!**

Pair: various--6x9, 1-R, 4-D, 1-2, 1-4, 3-5? ...err all open to interpretation.

Warning: community insert?, Cozzy fluff, stupid Cozzy humor, oddness. Mention of cross-dressing Heero, a rant on Relena bashing, prodding of 1x2x1's. Both het and yaoi, and none all at the same time.

Note: For GW500's b-day! I said I would write a fic for the community, and this is as good a time as any, ne? It's perfecto! Bwaha. Specifically for Merith and Ponderosa who run the community with grace, and for anyone and everyone who continually makes an effort to participate each week, with all your crazy ficlets. We love you!

Second Note: Heh... for those who don't know, GW500 is a community on livejournal, where you're given a one-word challenge every week and you respond with a ficlet of 500 words or less. I lurve it to pieces, me do!

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It was long passed midnight and the AC199 party that had rocked Quatre's mansion for several hours was finally over. Chairs were overturned, yellow plastic cups were everywhere, bits and pieces of cold pizza on Styrofoam sat on every flat surface--even on the toilet--and chips were ingrained in fine carpets, the occasional spill of alcohol or Kool Aid (cherry flavored) dressed every fabric surface as far as the eye could see. The place was a mess and bodies were sprawled in it--Heero was unconscious in the living room futon, and Relena was just as unconscious on the other side, curled into a ball of tangled blonde hair and a blood red dress that had been killer earlier in the day. Trowa was passed out on the floor in front of said futon, and Wufei was dead to the world on a bulky chair to the right of the futon, his feet tangled in Trowa's long legs. Quatre was drooling on a card table across from Dorothy, who was also drooling, and snoring quite loudly. Zechs and Noin were in one of the bathrooms in post-coital bliss, Howard was still tinkering in Quatre's garage, playing with the Harley collection, and Une, Sally, Hilde and Ron--Une's boyfriend--were all fast asleep in random beds they had found.

And Duo? Duo was in Quatre's office surfing the internet, looking up fanfiction about himself... a very odd thing to do, but one that he thoroughly enjoyed. He found it severely amusing that he was quite obviously a favorite in the fandom, and was tossed from one pairing to the next, in seemingly random order. People ranted on what he would and wouldn't do in certain situations and why this pairing would work with him and why this one wouldn't. He choked out a laugh, his snicker smoldering into a howl as he found that the most popular pairing they stuck him in was with Heero, which they called a "1x2x1." He and Heero seemed to be the most popular pairing in the entire fandom, though he honestly couldn't understand why. He hadn't been with Heero for very long during the war, and though they had partnered a few missions and had saved each other from various captures, they didn't really _do _anything that was in the least bit romantic. Hell, he hardly knew Heero, even after the war was over! He just didn't understand it, and thought, if anything, the girls would have gone for Relena and Heero or "1xR," since the two of them practically ogled each other in that last battle. They had even dated after the eve war, though it didn't last as long as everyone assumed they would. Relena and Heero had just decided that they worked better as they were and they didn't need or want a lover relationship.

But still... he didn't get it. And speaking of Relena, he found it odd that so many fans in the fandom bashed Relena relentlessly, even when she was respected in her office and had lead the world into the peace it now maintained. He had been severely pissed off at one point, as a nameless fan bashed Relena into a flaming Heero-stalking-Duo-hating-pink-limo-wannabe that psycho bitched her ranks into the world's most annoying and irritating villain. It wasn't Relena at all, and it was just blatantly... _wrong. _But then he discovered with amusement that almost all the cliché (dubbed bad) gundam fiction had Relena bashing or various girl bashing, even though the writers themselves were more often girls than guys anyway. Hell, all of the writers he'd read were girls, and they all, at some point, bashed said girls in their story. The fannon-Duo pretty much hated all girls in general (which Duo-in-life snorted and rolled his eyes at--he _loved _girls... a lot) and when he did find a half-way decent girl, it was a girl that was either Mary Sue or one that was pretty much a guy anyway... or was a guy in girl's clothing.

Yes, he found it very much amusing that Heero was often portrayed as a cross dresser in certain fiction, because of his hairless legs and the style of his hair, the way his body seemed slender in all the right places, and...

Duo coughed and found himself blushing. He shook his head in a snorting laugh and muttered, "Yeah, I guess I can see it. Girly-man Heero Yuy."

And then he exploded at his own words and fell back in the office chair.

It was some minutes before he could calm down, and when he did, he found Quatre's rumpled form glancing at him questioningly. "Duo? What're you doing up? It's three in the morning." He rubbed his cheek, which was red from resting on the card table for so long. There was still a faint trail of saliva gleaming against his chin, where he'd been drooling, and with a yawn, he rubbed his hazy blue eyes (or teal blue, as the fangirls insist), and padded bare feet to his desk where Duo sat in his chair, playing on his computer.

Duo snorted, minimized the windows he'd been browsing and grinned a little too cheeky. "Nothing." He almost whistled with supposed innocence.

Quatre rolled his eyes. "Yeah and I'm Satan."

"Actually, I found a fic where you made a great one. You seduced Trowa and everything."

Quatre just lifted a blonde eyebrow and tilted his head in confusion. "Wha?"

Duo sighed away the laughter itching his throat. "I'm reading fanfiction about us. You wouldn't believe the kinds of things they do to us, Quatre."

Unbeknownst to anyone, Quatre actually grinned. "Oh really? Did you read the two-four-two's yet? There's a great four-two, you might be interested in..."

Duo gaped. "You mean you actually read this stuff?"

Quatre snorted and his grin got twice as big, and twice as evil. "Read? I write. Under a penname. Someone's gotta stand up for Relena's integrity and my fortitude. I mean, you wouldn't believe how pathetic I can sound in some of those things!" He wagged a finger in the air, as if jabbing at a demon only he could see. "I'm not a wuss, damnit!"

"It bothers you, hunh?"

Quatre just snorted again and went around the desk and jabbed at the screen. "Go to Livejournal."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

Duo chuckled and shook his head. "Pushy."

He maximized the Heero cross-dressing window and typed in Quatre recognized the fic before the window changed and he gave Duo a knowing smirk. "I think it fits too, just so you know."

Duo winked, and the promise of a secret was silently sealed.

When they got to the Livejournal homepage, Quatre pointed to a small box in the upper right corner and told him to type "G-W five hundred."

Duo did and found a community user page, dedicated to short "ficlets" of five hundred words or less that are based on a one-word challenge of the week. Duo clicked for the journal, and once loaded, he scrolled to the challenge, which just so happened to be "midnight."

He looked at Quatre, an eyebrow arched. "Yeah?"

Quatre shrugged. "Write a ficlet for the community."

Duo's heart jolted, but then he slowly grinned. "About midnight?"

A nod.

"Any pairing?"

Another nod.

"And Heero won't know?"

A final nod.

The grin grew wider and Duo cracked his knuckles.

"Sweet."

And he sat down and wrote a 621 worded ficlet, under an inconspicuous penname no one would ever know. After finishing, he quietly wondered if writing gay fiction about himself and another friend when he wasn't gay and said friend slept with a gun under his pillow was really a good idea.

It didn't take long before he just hit, "submit" anyway, using his newly created Livejournal. There was a snicker, and then a cackle.

He grinned.

He had plans.

--_Fini_

A/N: Note that I could have very easily referenced myself and my favorite authors, but I did not. I wanted to keep this carefully nameless, and I didn't have any exact fics in mind when babbling about the 1x2x1s, the cross-dressed Heero or the Relena bashing (or all three in on basket). I didn't even have a fic in mind for the devil-Quatre 4x3, so don't go pointing fingers, kay? This was purely for fun. wide grin Happy birthday, GW500!


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